blackandwtf:

Date unknown

This is how I envision my lounge room in the future…
I don’t even need people in my life.
Who needs a husband when you have a German Shepherd? He’s good to spoon at night, he likes whatever you cook and wants to snuggle on the couch and eat biscuits and watch Absolutely Fabulous, and he’ll grievously harm intruders of your house while you cry in your bed…
Who needs a big brother when you have an English bulldog, or a gym-buddy when you have multiple scotch collies and boxers? You don’t need ‘girly-girls’ as your friends; you have poodles, a chihuahua and a Pomeranian, the fire-fighting Dalmatian in case you burn the toast, and court-jester Pug for all your cuddly giggles.
There’s even a pitbull up the back, makin’ sure shit don’t go bad for you; a fucking body-guard, you always wanted one of them as a little girl, right…

I’ve actually come to suspect the reason why I don’t develop really strong feelings for many men, is because I like dogs too much. Dogs in my house/around me make me feel safer and more loved than any man; they’re only mad until I rub their belly, they don’t cheat on me, don’t ask me what’s the matter when I’m snotting and crying all over them, they just take it and kiss my eyelids because tears probably taste good dogs love me more than men.

I have put too much thought into how I could replace all humans with dogs.
I am a normal human being.